I, too, had taken some time off not only due to my schedule, but also because I felt things got a little too carried away. Too many people focussing on the stuff that was going wrong, and not liking that things weren't going according to plan. I can understand why this would upset some, particularly Molly, Jade, and Sara as they had specific ideas as far as their purpose for BOB. They are the ones that started this and knew what they wanted to accomplish through it.

And I was inspired with their idea. I was inspired by all the mail exchanges, the mail art exchange, the sticker exchange, and book central.

And, so, when I would receive e-mails saying, "you need to update," or "I don't care what your schedule is or who you're married to, UPDATE," or "you must have your mail art completed by the end of July," I complied. Sometimes I was irritated at being told what to do and when to do it, but I let it slide because I believed in BOB and the people in it.

But then there were others who did not hold up their end of the bargain while I was busily making art, sending mail, buying things for packages, updating; etc. I could have been really angry by this, but then I decided to just do the updating, the mailing, the art making just for the sake of maybe brightening someone's day. To do it without expecting anything in return. And this lifted a huge weight off me. And I soon found that my kindness was always returned to me, many times even more so, in not only the "BOB" aspect of my life but in all aspects of my life.

But, now, I'm getting e-mails from people saying that "things got too hard," or "I can't take it anymore," or "I'm tired of all the drama," or "I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready to come back."

And then I can't help but to be irritated. After months with people riding me to update and participate in this community diary, our community leaders and other participants want to quit. Somehow, I feel that all the negativity is given complete attention with barely any consideration for the good.

And there is a lot of good: we've got fresh, bright, charming new members. We've got great ideas. We've supported each other through some pretty tough stuff. We've told jokes. We've laughed. We've chatted online, on the phone, through the message board. We've also fought, made critical arguments, and made us face ourselves openly and honestly. We may not always agree, but it was always a comfort to have each other.

That is what makes us a family.

And families are not perfect. They always have a lot to discover about themselves and they have a lot of learning to do. But it is the learning that counts.

Remember in the movie, "A League of Their Own" when Gena Davis decides to quit the team and she said, "It just got too hard."? And then Tom Hanks replied, "It's suppose to be hard. If it wasn't then everyone would do it. The "hard" is what makes it great."

And that is how I feel about BOB.

So, if you really feel the necessity to leave, then leave. But I feel that you will be missing out on so many levels. For our leaders, take some pressure off yourselves, and enjoy BOB for what it is at this moment. Forget all the projects and mailings for a bit and just find solace in just talking to people. I know each of you have those you love tremendously in this group and they would be awfully sad to see you go. Especially since you were the ones who began all this and are their inspiration. You may think that things were not working out according to your plan, but maybe things are working out for an even better plan.

That's what I think anyway.

-Amy