A. he was late. [not good] he blamed it on the trains.
B. as i told jade last nite, he did have a cute face like in the picture. but in the picture he looks more, um built, ya know? and hes not. hes the skinniest F-ing ex-marine ive ever seen. so thats not so good.
C. the mannerisms. jesus. hes more feminine than I am. id have sworn he was gay if he hadnt fucked the shit out of me, but come to think of it, the way we had sex, he just might have been gay and in denial.

alright, anyway, the date. we met. he was really nice, really nice. and we walked all over boston and agreed on clothes and shopping and lots of things, and he took me out to a really nice dinner. really nice. and things were going well. cept for those mannerisms [the way he holds his hand when he walks, god its so un-manly].

so after dinner, we walked some more and ended up at this great little games place where the top floor was full of pool tables and we played pool for an hour or so and we had drinks and it was a lot of fun. and then we walked back to his place. and his place was kind of small, and old and the decor was, um different. but not bad. and then sex was had, and i dont know why i did that. i mean hes cute and all but i knew there was nothing to be had there and yet, i did it. and the whole time all i could think was "shit youre hurting me" and "i wish i was with nick". i swear to god, that man can not kiss, he is sloppy and licks you! full out tongue licking! its fucked up. and he has a tongue ring so oral sex was a nightmare. it hurt! it actually hurt. and then he took forever to cum and when he finally did it was in the strangest F-ing position and i felt like i should have been a guy, he likes it tight, i can tell. and it was terrible. but after sex was really nice again. he likes to touch and kiss softly, and i swear he just might have a double personality. i dont know.

i do know i wont be having any type of relationship with him outside of friendship. cause i just cant. i just cant. i thought he might be the one to help me get over nick, and he wont be. no on will be. so im just going to be here.

i love you girls. tons. i hope you have better dates than me.