I consider my childhood to be one of the best times in my life and I could name a lot of things that have influenced me as an adult. I would have to say that the biggest thing would be is to never EVER squish marshmallows in your hands for use as a protective coating.

Let me elaborate: I thought it would be really cool to squish two jumbo size marshmallows in my hands. I don't know why I wanted to do it. It was just one of those random idiotic things that kids do. Anyway, my mom was a real "clean" fanatic and as I was walking around oustside the house she called me to the bedroom window. I immediately hid my hands behind my back because I knew I was dead meat if she saw them.

She was immediately on to me. "Show me your hands," she said. I shook my head vigorously, eyes wide with what I thought was the ultimate parental deceit. "Show me your hands now!" she demanded, now thoroughly irritated.

"WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I cried like I was a stuck pig even though later my dad said I sounded like a wounded calf.

That was it. My mom bolted out the door and and took a good long look at my hands.

Boy, she...was...mad.

"Get in the house right now! And don't touch anything!" My mom then proceeded to scrub my hands until the skin practically came off. I had never seen my hands so red in my life. And, of course, my little sister, Erin, was pointing and laughing at me all this time. She loved it when I got in trouble, the little twerp.

So, yeah, that was the big lesson of childhood: no marshmallows in the hands. You'll tick off your mom, give your little sister undeserved satisfaction, and gain the rep for acting like a wounded calf. Plus, squished marshmallows attract flies.