Dear [insert name here],

I want to know. I really do want to know. Like half of my life is spent sitting or driving or sleeping or eating or drinking, with the same thoughts always in my head.

Why did this happen to you? I mean. Was it just some shitty genetics and bad luck? Do we blame your parents? Or just your dad. I don't know.

I mean, seriously. Is the entire family cursed?

I've spent so many hours crying over the entire situation. And I just want to know if there was some pivotal moment like 20 years ago. If, in some alternate universe, I could have been there, could I have stopped it? I just want to know.