claire wrote:

"If you could say something to someone that you never could in the past (because they moved, died, you don't see them anymore, etc. Or maybe if you just CAN'T tell them) what would it be? Names aren't really necessary- maybe just what the person's relationship is/was to you would be enough."

monica answers:

there were a group of boys from my high school [exdebaters, how i know them] who graduated before i reached the ninth grade. i talked to all of them online pretty frequently. probably because two of them are indian and meeting indian people is relatively rare.

and one of them fell in love with me, right after being burned by another girl. and he'd gotten jaded with love and hated the whole mess and always said if he ever told someone he loved them, it would be monumental.

and then he said it to me.

but i couldn't deal with it. i yo-yo ed around, i manipulated him and played with him. i was never mean, but we just fought ALL the time. he wanted to stop talking to me, because i was crazy into someone else and he would always be very upset after we talked. but i wouldn't let him. i refused.

anyway. this went on all through my sophomore year. and about the time kevinandi began, i fucked up for good and he left my life.

and i miss him.

in january he came back to help with the tournament and he started talking to me. when he went back to school at gwu, he IMed me again and started talking.

i told him that i didn't want to be his friend anymore. and we left it at that.

and. and. i don't know if you should be in my life, and if i should be in yours.

i am just all wrong for you, you are too sensitve to me.

and i am sorry.

rachel wrote and monica answers:

names you wish your parents had chosen instead of the one they named you: anya? lorelai <- i saw that in a ramona quimby book. i don't know. i like my name for the most part. it is unique enough to not be common and common enough to not be unheard of. except for that lewinsky thing. damn her.

what is the last movie you saw? where? with whom? describe: hmmmm. i think i last saw the time machine with megan and alex, people whom i only like intermittently :) um. samantha mumba is hot.

your dream job is: to travel and write

books you love are: stephen king's it. if that man wrote anything else but horror he would have such a better name for himself. that and if he stopped making those shitty made for tv movies. i dont really understand that. subtract all the horror from that novel and you will find a book that is childhood. so perfectly.

what did you do last night? i meant to take a nap but i slept from 6pm to 7am accidentally. i'd only gotten 4 hours of sleep over two nights the previous two days.

you guilty pleasure(s) is/are: the diary. the internet. the boy. alias.

cd or tape that's in your stereo right now: ani difranco - not a pretty girl. the river has more colors at sunset than my sock drawer ever dreamed of. if you had the option of living forever, would you? no sir

five celebrities (dead or alive)that you would sleep with in a heart beat: johnny depp. gavin rossdale. dave matthews. leonardo dicaprio :) . tobey maguire.

the oldest thing you own is: ooh. um. i have a paperback dime novel from 1943.

tap wrote:

""tell me why you love your mom [or dad]. i do not want to hear why you hate one of them. this is about love ladies and gent. if you feel this question is too personal [or you want to answer another] then answer this one please - tell me about your screenname. how does it reflect you [or the online you]? why did you pick it? etc."

monica answers:

i love my mother because she gave up her life for me. she gave up a career in favor of a part-time job so that she could be with me after school and spend time with me in general. now she feels like nothing because society in her mind looks at her as a low dollar sign and not a good mother. so. i love my mom.

monicau13 <- my name is monica. my last name is u_din with a d where the _ is bc i think (notsure) that it works as google-proofing. i was thirteen when i signed up :)

i could never think of another cool name (like tapesterygirl or briarmolzo) that was pretty but not lame. damn you ladies, always showin' me up.

okay. whew. now. it's really really fucking hot right now. and um. i miss sunny. and i like john. and i hate advanced placement. and what is the forum thing we have linked now on the side? did i miss a post about that?