If I had an all-powerful magic wand� what would be the first thing I would do? I thought long and hard about this one. Initially, my first reaction was �I�d simply wave it around and make myself into the soldier I always wanted to be.� Simple enough, is it not? But then I stopped to think. No, I wouldn�t want my very first thing to be on impulse, nor do I want it for myself. After a bit of thinking, I knew �exactly- what I wanted, and for who.

So, if I had an all-powerful magic wand that could do anything, I�d give it a little wave and �poof�, my parents would be living a comfortable life in a wonderful home. Plus, they wouldn�t have to work a single day longer for the rest of their lives. The money they need would just be there. Yes, it�s a rather inclusive first thing, but it�s all tied together, none-the-less. That�s what I would do.

Why? Simply because, for as long as I�ve been around, they have worked their asses off to provide for me. Not to mention, they also provide for and support my two sisters and brother. For their whole lives (or as long as we children have been around) they have unselfishly put us ahead of their needs and wants. It doesn�t matter how far in debt they are, they still do it.

When I turned 16, they took out a loan and bought me a nice used car (�96 Chevy Monte Carlo SS to be exact). The very next year my brother turned 16 and they bought him a truck (�97 Chevy S10 pickup). It was the vehicles �we- wanted, not what they could afford or got for us. Needless to say, then I wanted a newer vehicle than my brother, so they did so. I got myself a �98 Chevy Monte Carlo Z34. It just didn�t matter whether or not they could afford it� they where there to make me happy. It didn�t matter that my mother was still driving the crappy Plymouth minivan or that my dad was still driving the exact same pickup truck he�s had since �95 or �96 (not to mention he uses it as his farm truck as well). Just two years ago they traded the minivan in for a �98 Chevy Blazer. Not because they could afford it� but mostly because my middle sister turned 16. They wanted to be sure she had a reliable vehicle to drive so she would be safe coming and going from school.

Then, when I decided I wanted to go out of state to the University of Evansville (which was also a private university), they again took out a loan to let me go. It just didn�t matter how far into debt they had to go, they where there for me and still are. Even as I�m writing this entry, I can�t help but cry (even though I�m in a public computer lab at school working). To sit here and reflect upon how much they have done for me� how far they�re willing to go to keep us children happy and content� it�s rather unfair.

Unfair in what way, you may ask? I realize all I have ever done is �take, take, take�. Never have I given anything back. Just recently, my mother bought me a laptop computer and is currently helping me save up just so I can take a trip to Europe this summer or next. But what have I ever done in return? Hardly anything at all, that�s what. I keep 99.9% of my check for myself instead of handing over $20 or so to the very people who have made my life just that much easier. I have no bills of my own to pay off. My parents still provide a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, and meals day in, day out.

There are times when I just can�t help but feel like a freeloader� like the child that just won�t leave or go do anything for themselves because they�re already being provided for. But I�m determined to change that. I may not have a magic wand� but I do have willpower. In a pinch, that�ll substitute quite nicely. Even if I can only manage to give them $20 from my check, I�ll do it. Depending on the size of my check (which, right now, varies), I�ll give them as much as I can. It�s the least I can do for the parents who love me as much as they do.