All In A Day's Work

Two young men in their late twenties or early thirties step up to the counter. the girl is tired, she's worked for nearly her entire shift without a break. she's greasy, she's hot, and she's pretty much sick of customers. there have been more of them than usual for a weekday.

she smiles and says in a friendly voice, "hi there, what can I get you?"

guy #1 smiles and says, "hey...you guys have that big mac and small fry deal for $2?"

the girl sighs inwardly. big mac, small fry, was all she had heard all day. "yup, we do"

guy number one, obvlious to the girl's thoughts, continues. "and you also have the mcchicken thing, where if you buy a drink and fries the mcchicken is 98 cents?"

"yep, that's right" three people step into line behind the two guys.

"well, if I got two small fries, two drinks, two big macs, and two mcchickens, which way would be the cheapest way?"

"oh boy," the girl thinks. "here we go."

out loud: "I don't know sir, let me check for you."

she turns and yells to kitchen: "don't make this coming up on cash two!"

rung in:

2 s coke
2 s fry
2 mcchicken
2 reduced macs

total: $xx.xx

0 s fry
0 mcchicken
0 big mac
2 evm mcchicken
2 s evmfry
2 bigmac

total: $xx.xx

the girl looks up. "okay, so the first way would be a little cheaper" (I think it was something like 22 cents, some stupid amount).

two more people step into line behind the two guys.

a family of seven, two adults, five children under 8, steps into line behind the five people already behind the two guys.

guy #1: "sure, we'll take that."

the girl gets the order ready, takes payment, learns the second mcchicken is going to be three minutes, and the two macs will be about two. she offers to bring the rest of the order out to them, and they agree. she wishes them a nice day, and turns to assemble her next order.

guy #1 pauses.

"is something wrong?" the girl asks in her uber-friendly tone, hoping her expression gives no inkling of the exasperation she feels.

guy #1 says: "would it be cheaper if we got two more small fries, and then both the big macs and the mcchickens would be reduced?"

the girl runs over to the fry vat and sticks her head in.

not really. but she feels like it.

instead, the girl opens her eyes very wide, and pretends to be just a silly teenager who passes her time by working at mcdonald's until she goes to college.

"oh, yes it would! would you like two more small fries?"

guy #1 smiles pleasantly (his friend is awfully silent). "sure, that would be wonderful".

the girl, who is eyeing all 99 billion people mcdonald's has ever served lining up in the lobby, nicely asks the man to go sit down and she will bring out the rest of his order.

(of course, you understand, now that this man has decided he would like two more small fries and the reduced price mcchickens, this means that our heroine must fetch a manager who is not busy (rarely happens, as the restaurant in question is hugely understaffed), get the manager to use her keys on our girl's till and perform a refund. then the manager must take the refunded money out of the till, both girl and manager must fetch a piece of footlong paper from the printer and fill it out and sign it. then our girl must ring in the reduced price mcchicken and the reduced price fries, paid for with the money taken from the till, and then bring everything out, including the change, to the two guys. and of course, our girl is the only girl up front, and let's not forget the 99 billion people piling into lobby.)

anyway. after 44.5billion people have been served and mcchickens and fries are up, the girl piles onto the tray two mcchickens, two small fries, and four something in change left over from the refund and purchase. whew.

the girl smiles at the two men.

"okay, so here's what I did. I got you a refund for the more expensive food, and then used some of the money from the refund to pay for the reduced price food. and your change is on the tray. is that okay now?"

the two guys look at eachother. our heroine's heart sinks.

guy #1 "umm...no"

the girl screams, dumps all the food onto guy #1's head, and goes to hide in the walk-in until she's off work.

but not really.

instead, she laughs and says "okay, what's wrong now?"

guy #1 says that they wanted four small fries total, two mcchickens, and two big macs.

the girl realises her mistake. oops. she had brought out two mcchickens and two small fries, when the two guys needed one mcchicken and two big macs and two small fries. sigh.

"sorry about that!" she says, smiling and whisking one of the mcchickens back to its warm home in the food bin, doing a half spin thing on one foot, scooping up two big macs on her way, and goes back out to the guys.

"whew, here we go. I think that's right now!"

guy #1: "yup, that's great. thank you! hey, are you allowed to accept tips? this is a lot of trouble you've gone through."

our girl smiles and shakes her head. no, they are not allowed to accept tips. sorry. and goes to take more orders.

she's doing great, down to only 1 billion people, when she notices guy #2 (shock, she was starting to think he was deaf mute or something) standing there, smiling at her. his eyes laughing.

smiling hesitantly, she says "can I help you?"

he has a big mac in his hand.

opens the box.

guy #2 says: "I think someone back there doesn't know how to make a big mac!". he is laughing. all is well. our girl once had a big mac thrown at her.

the mac in question has only ketchup, mustard, and onion on it. this is most certainly not how to make a big mac. she secretly growls at kitchen.

"hey guys", she yells back, "can I get another mac please? this one was express* and didn't have a sticker on it."

thinking to herself: "grill** the stupid burgers. grrrrrrrr."

the mac comes up. joy and jubilation. the girl smiles and hands guy #2 his big mac, apologises for kitchen, and grins and said she watched them make it this time. by now the lobby is empty and she is going on break soon and she is starting to enjoy these poor guys who are being entirely screwed over and yet are still being nice about it.

after the guys have left, she goes out to clean off their table. bah, they left their tray. she hates it when people do that. the guys go from an 8 to a 2 in her mind.

she picks up the tray and prepares to carry it over to the waste recepticle (hehe) when she notices...

...that there is a five dollar bill tucked underneath one of the empty cups.

By Pam
13.02.02 (tomorrow is valentine's day!)

* express = made specially to order. i.e. with extra pickles, or with only ketchup.
** grill = to put a sticker and grill slip on an express burger so the counter and drive through staff know that the burger is express.