the game called go insane as played by sunny
things i am:
a loner
i've always been a loner. it's not that the idea of socializing scares me. sometimes though, i just find it all so tedious. i'd rather be by myself surrounded by only my thoughts.
when i was younger i didn't make any effort at all to become close to any other kids my age. my world was inhabited by characters from the books i read. my days were spent wandering through their lives. i just never really found that it was worth my while to talk to people who were uninteresting at best.. so.. i didn't.
that's changed a little now that i'm almost finished with high school. i do make an effort to talk to people and become close to them but i still feel like the only one who will ever know me completely is me and sometimes it just seems like a waste of time to talk to other people about things that are mainly trivial. eh.. i'm not really getting this across very well. just know that i am a loner at heart. heh.
a reader
i mentioned that my closest friends were in my head already didn't i? right, they leapt off the page and made themselves comfy in between the cobwebs and they haven't left since.
books. i read and read and read. whatever i can get my hands on. old books, new books and if it's a blank book i'll write my own... and then read it. i love getting caught up in a story. i love discovering different perspectives and seeing what life would be like seen through their eyes. escapism you say? right on.
things i am not:
a girly girl
i do not wear make up. i do not obsess over the latest fashions. i refuse to coordinate a matching handbag with every outfit. but then, that's just me.
tomboyish is oh so much easier to handle. you can't just join a game of pick up basketball in heels can you?
jeans and a t-shirt is my basic uniformish type thing for the week. and then... my favorite... pajama bottoms! they rock my world and i live for their existence. so comfy.. yay for flannel! here's a tip: going to school in pj's at least twice a month dramatically decreases your stress level by upping the comfort level at critical times.
defined very well by what i am not
i like to think that i can be anything that i want to be. so, restricting myself isn't very fun. and that is all i have to say on that.
my anti-list:
anti-pollution
rotten stuff, pollution is. i used to live in phoenix and we'd frequently no burn days because of the level of gunk in the air. and that, my friends, sucked. well, not so much the not being able to burn things (didn't affect me one way or the other) but the fact that it was soooo bad that they had to forbid certain things to contain it.
now i live under the clear skies of rural washington and i revel in the loveliness. today alone i pointed out how beautiful the sky looked about ten times. and at night! oh let me tell you, at night you can see all kinds of stars.. so far my only regret is missing that meteor shower awhile back. from where i live it would have been breathtaking.
anti-hicks
living in the country has its drawbacks though. the clear skies also come with 100% rednecks. gun racks. rebel flags. the occasional shaved head. etc.
fairly un-diverse would be a good description of my school. and that, is also, enough of that.
i'm not going to do the those i love part quite yet. the section isn't even complete yet. but. i will tell you something about me that you probably can't gather from my diary.
someone once told me that eating too much rice would make me puff up
heh, that sucked. i just couldn't think of anything to tell you... and damn that took a long time to do!
'til next time,
i can play too
8:57 p.m. @ 2002-01-02
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