since i'm slacking in my diary i thought i'd drop by here for a bit. it's really quite comfortable.

but i want to answer amy's question.

If you knew you were going to die in twelve months, would you be happy with where you are in life right now? And if not what would you do or change?

okay, twelve months from now i will be far from my house. but the question is, am i happy with my life right now? and the answer is a resounding no. seriously, what have i accomplished in my life that is so great? nothing.

i'm going to be 18 in june, i'll be an adult by legal standards. i'll finally be out of high school. yet, it's not anything that really makes me happy or even content.

maybe it's because i've always had "illusions delusions of grandeur" (to use a clich�). even as a little kid i felt that a humdrum life just wouldn't cut it for me. i've always wanted to be that person in the news with the exciting history and promising future. you know?

and where i'm at right now (suffering intensely from senioritis, stuck in a small town, surrounded by a whole lot of nothing, etc) just isn't where i'd want to be. especially if i only had one year from that point until my death.

so, that's my answer.