One thing I just remembered is that I'm afraid of giving up power. I have a hard time trusting other people with work I know I can do myself because I don't want them to screw it up.

I'm afraid of mirrors in the dark. My bed is very far away from the light switch, and I have two full length mirrors in the room (ahh, she who lives in vain), so I'll turn off the lights, shut my eyes, hope nothing is in the way on the floor, and scurry into bed.

I'm afraid of heights, I guess. I always think in my head that I wouldn't be scared of jump off of a bridge but when I'm on the second floor in the mall, I keep away from the railings thinking I'm somehow going to lean all the way over and fall. And then I'm too scared to stand on a desk, and I have a hell of a hard time getting down.

What I've always been most afraid of is being lonely. I can't describe why I'm afraid of this unless I'm feeling very depressed. Lately, I've been so happy to have the company of a certain person that I haven't thought anything about being lonely.

My first year of high school, I decided that it would be the year I would try to be nice to everyone and not go out of my way to attract any enemies. I thought I could systematically make myself prettier by trying to improve a part of me one at a time. I developed a major front of confidence, which wasn't all bad. And in my quest to be as perfect and well-rounded (not rounded like I am now) as possible, I would dream nightly of walking in high heels, stumbling, then falling face down in front of everyone. This was my fear of not being able to walk in the high heels I was forcing myself into.